Valerie Bertinelli recently opened up about her enduring connection with late ex-husband Eddie Van Halen. She explained how their bond remained strong despite both having remarried other people. Her candid comments were shared during an interview on The Bossticks.
The actress and cookbook author reflected on their relationship’s challenges and the deep understanding they maintained throughout their lives.
“I met him when I was 20, he was 25. We grew up together. We got married far too young, but I don’t know how else we would have done it. Our lives were insane. We waited 10 years to have Wolfie. We went through a lot in those 10 years, basically the 80s, which I don’t remember too much between the drugs and the alcohol,” Bertinelli said.
She continued to address the substance abuse issues that affected their marriage. She also discussed how they both struggled with unresolved trauma.
“We were both doing drugs, we were both drinking way too much, and then I stopped drinking and doing drugs, or I stopped doing drugs and still drinking. And he kept doing the drugs. And I was like, ‘You got to go to rehab.’ And it’s just like, who am I to? Whatever. But neither one of us dealt with any of our traumas that we were much closer to them. And he went through a very traumatic childhood,” she explained.
Bertinelli emphasized how understanding their shared struggles helped her develop compassion for Van Halen in his final years.
“So as long as we’re not dealing with those, we’re going to use drugs and alcohol. And for me, it was also food to numb any feelings we just didn’t feel like feeling because we don’t want to hear the information because it was too painful. So now that I know all this, I feel like, and near the end of his life, I could be much more compassionate because first of all, I love him dearly,” she said.
She concluded by clarifying the nature of their lasting bond. She also expressed respect for their subsequent marriages.
“And this is to not say anything against his second wife or my second husband. I just loved the father of my son that I knew since I was 20. I knew that we would never be intimate again, even if had he lived, but he would always be one of my dearest friends because he’s just, he was Ed. He was just a huge part of my life,” Bertinelli stated.
Bertinelli’s reflections provide insight into a relationship that spanned decades and weathered numerous challenges. Her comments highlight the complexity of maintaining connections with former partners while building new relationships.
OK Magazine reported that the couple met backstage at a Van Halen concert in Louisiana in 1980 and married in 1981. Their relationship lasted nearly three decades before they separated in 2001 and finalized their divorce in 2007. Their son Wolfgang was born in March 1991, after the couple waited a decade into their marriage to start a family.
The timeline of their relationship coincided with Van Halen’s peak years as a rock band. During this period, both fame and substance abuse created significant pressures on their marriage. Despite these challenges, both Bertinelli and Van Halen maintained their commitment to co-parenting their son Wolfgang, who has since followed in his father’s musical footsteps.
Following her separation from Van Halen, The List noted that Bertinelli married Tom Vitale on New Year’s Day in 2011. However, this second marriage also faced difficulties. The couple later separated and divorced in 2022. Van Halen, meanwhile, married Janie Liszewski in 2009, remaining with her until his death from cancer in October 2020.
Bertinelli’s recent comments demonstrate how former spouses can maintain meaningful connections while respecting new relationships. Her emphasis on compassion and understanding, particularly regarding Van Halen’s struggles with addiction and trauma, reflects a mature perspective on their shared history and the father of her child.
