Former Smashing Pumpkins and Hole bassist Melissa Auf der Maur recently opened up about her intimate relationship with Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl. She shared candid details in an exclusive interview with People.
Auf der Maur discussed how her relationship with Grohl impacted her understanding of intimacy and female sexuality.
“That secret of my life is not revealed for Dave, clearly,” she said. “That secret is for all women who embark on the mysterious journey of orgasms and the overlooked mystery of women everything.”
The bassist reflected on how the relationship helped her gain personal awareness about her own needs.
“One of the gifts that that relationship gave me was an awareness of how you can have blinders about your own need of unlocking your own code,” she continued. “It’s for the mystery of female orgasm. It’s contributing towards the cause.”
Auf der Maur also made a particularly candid admission about her experience before dating Grohl.
“[Before Grohl], no one had ever put so much effort into making me orgasm in my entire life,” she revealed. “[I] was not even that into sex.”
These revelations provide new insight into a relationship that has remained largely private since it ended over two decades ago.
Loudwire reported that the couple dated from 1999 to 2001. This period coincided with significant musical milestones for both artists. During their relationship, Hole was promoting their album Celebrity Skin while Foo Fighters released There Is Nothing Left to Lose.
The timing of their romance placed them at the center of the alternative rock scene’s evolution. Both musicians were navigating their careers in the aftermath of grunge’s peak era. Auf der Maur had joined Hole following the death of original bassist Kristen Pfaff, while Grohl was establishing himself as a frontman after Nirvana’s tragic end.
Their connection went beyond physical attraction, rooted in shared musical obsessions and similar lifestyles. The Circle noted that Auf der Maur described them as “non-drug addict, technically happy, highly functioning people” who were both deeply obsessed with rock music. This compatibility stemmed from their parallel experiences in iconic bands connected to the Seattle music scene.
Despite their strong connection, the relationship ended amicably in 2001. Who Is Leon indicated that their romance remains one of the most referenced relationships in rock history from that era. Both have maintained privacy about the details until Auf der Maur’s recent candid interview.
The relationship’s end was described as peaceful. Auf der Maur noted that “it was all love” when discussing their breakup, suggesting that their split was mutual and without animosity.
