Why Did Kurt Cobain Mention Freddie Mercury In His Suicide Note?

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Two legendary lead singers, late Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain and late Queen frontman Freddie Mercury have created a legacy in a short amount of time during their music career that ended due to their early death. Despite being two of the greatest frontmen in rock music and having multiple similarities, Cobain and Mercury were quite the opposite.

While Cobain was known for his angst-fueled songwriting, anti-establishment persona, and depression, Mercury was primarily recognized for his highly theatrical style and energetic personality, filled with the joy of living. The differences in their personalities and attitudes were the main reasons the Nirvana singer decided to name the Queen frontman in his suicide note. Freddie Mercury had what Kurt Cobain lacked, let’s take a look.

Kurt Cobain Passed Away At The Age Of 27

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It was widely known by his fans and friends that Kurt Cobain was struggling with mental health issues on top of his infamous substance addiction. As a result of all of these, the singer was suicidal and attempted to kill himself multiple times. After being immediately rushed to the hospital and receiving treatment for five days, he was released, returned to his house, and entered rehab.

Unfortunately, Cobain escaped from the rehabilitation center, took a taxi to Los Angeles Airport, and flew back to Seattle. While everybody was looking for the rocker, his body was discovered at his home by an electrician on April 8, 1994. It was later revealed that Nirvana’s frontman killed himself with a shotgun at the age of 27 on April 5, and heroin was found in his blood. The singer left a suicide note which was later confirmed to be his handwriting, and it has multiple aspects that need a deeper look.

Kurt Cobain Mentioned Freddie Mercury In His Suicide Note

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The suicide note was addressed to Kurt Cobain’s childhood imaginary friend Boddah and the musician mainly complained about not feeling the excitement he used to feel from making music. Evidently, his music was the only connection he had with the world, and the lack of satisfaction consumed his will to live.

Apparently, the musician didn’t feel the excitement he did before when he left the stage after a live performance. Cobain mentioned Freddie Mercury to compare his situation since the Queen singer always appreciated the love he received from the audience. Furthermore, the Nirvana frontman admitted being jealous of how the crowd inspired Mercury, and this lack of rush affected his state of mind so profoundly that he killed himself.

The part that included Freddie Mercury reads:

“For example, when we’re backstage and the lights go out, and the manic roar of the crowds begins, it doesn’t affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy.

The fact is, I can’t fool you, any one of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me, I do, but it’s not enough).”

Although there must be countless reasons behind his decision to end his life, Kurt Cobain was suffering from not enjoying the most important asset of his life, music. According to his note, the ultimate musician who had the most joy out of performing was Freddie Mercury, and Cobain envied him as he couldn’t pretend to be having fun on and off stage.

Regardless of his reasoning, his fans still suffer from losing one of the most brilliant musicians rock music has ever seen and ironically appreciate his death note which allowed them to partially understand how Cobain once felt.

You can read Kurt Cobain’s suicide note below.

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