Valerie Bertinelli recently opened up about her relationship with her late ex-husband Eddie Van Halen. She shared her regrets about how she handled their partnership during his struggles. The actress and cookbook author made these candid remarks on the Work in Progress With Sophia Bush Podcast.
Bertinelli reflected on her personal growth and how it affected her ability to support Van Halen during their relationship. She expressed remorse about not having the emotional tools she has now.
“You know, it was crazy in a personal way because the frustration of wanting him to get well, you know, and me not being mature enough to know how to deal with that,” she said. “And, because knowing what I know now about trauma and how it affects people, I would be much more compassionate with Ed and his journey that he needed to take.”
The actress emphasized her gratitude for their reconciliation. She also expressed regret about missed opportunities for deeper understanding.
“I’m incredibly grateful for where we ended up the last year of his life, but I’m kicking myself that I wish I had learned what I know now earlier, so I could have been a better friend to him,” she continued. “If I couldn’t have been a good partner — because that was over — I could have been a better friend.”
Bertinelli’s reflections come from years of personal growth and understanding about relationships affected by addiction and trauma.
The couple’s relationship began in 1980 when Bertinelli was just 20 years old. She met Van Halen backstage after one of his concerts. The List reported that the two hit it off almost immediately. This led to their marriage in 1981. Their early years together were marked by the intensity of Van Halen’s rising fame and the pressures that came with it.
However, their relationship faced significant challenges over the years. ABC News noted that Van Halen’s drug and alcohol issues became a major factor in their marriage troubles. This led to their separation in 2001 and eventual divorce in 2007. The couple’s struggles with addiction and its impact on their family life became a defining aspect of their relationship.
Despite their divorce, Bertinelli and Van Halen maintained a connection. They shared a commitment to their son Wolfgang. ABC News revealed that in Van Halen’s final days in 2020, both Bertinelli and Wolfgang visited him daily in the hospital. His last words to them were “I love you.” This provided a sense of closure to their complicated but enduring bond.
The actress’s current perspective reflects a deeper understanding of trauma and addiction that she wishes she had possessed during their marriage. Her comments highlight the importance of compassion and emotional maturity when supporting loved ones through difficult struggles. This is particularly true for those involving substance abuse and mental health challenges.
