Korn guitarist Brian ‘Head’ Welch recently opened up about his struggle with suicidal thoughts during his battle with addiction. He shared how his connection with God transformed his perspective on life and death. The musician made these candid remarks in a statement shared on Instagram.
Welch discussed his past struggles with mental health and how his relationship with faith changed his outlook on mortality and eternal life.
“You know, back in the day, the thought of living forever didn’t appeal to me. I just wanted to rest. Who cares about the thought of living forever?” Welch said. “But as I got suicidal and struggled with that suicidal ideation, you know, I don’t wanna leave this earth too soon or leave my daughter without me here, so I decided to get help.”
The guitarist explained how seeking help led him to an unexpected spiritual discovery. This discovery provided him with peace beyond what he had previously imagined.
“And what I found when I got help was something that I didn’t know was attainable, which is a connection to the creator, our source through Christ, that gave me the desire to just go on a search to see how close a person can actually get. With God while living, on this planet, every day,” he continued. “And so what I found was a piece that surpasses all understanding that is more restful than just dying and going into a grave and never waking up.”
Welch contrasted his current spiritual peace with his previous desire to escape through death during his darkest moments.
“Before, when I was just completely annihilated by addiction and depression, and ever my mental health challenges, and the thought of just going to sleep sounded so peaceful,” he said. “But as I mistakenly discovered through this relationship with God, the heavy, weighty piece with the foundation of love. And kindness is more restful than just going into a coffin, being buried 6 feet under, and sleeping forever.”
“And now I actually love the thought of living forever because living forever when I’m separated from the shell is actually what true rest is all about,” Welch concluded.
Welch’s recent reflections echo a transformative journey that began nearly two decades ago. This journey marks one of the most dramatic spiritual conversions in heavy metal history.
Wikipedia reported that Welch underwent a profound spiritual transformation in 2005. He left Korn due to addiction struggles with drugs and alcohol, followed by a faith journey centered on rededicating his life to Jesus Christ. His departure from the band in February 2005 stemmed from moral conflicts amid heavy substance abuse. He described feeling “so gone” after distancing himself from the band for 1-2 years, prompting a desire to “fade away.”
The guitarist’s recovery process involved healing from past addictions. This healing allowed him to reconnect musically and “feel the magic again.” This transformative period became the foundation for his solo album Save Me from Myself (2008). The album chronicles his spiritual awakening and battle with addiction. The album served as a deeply personal testament to his journey from darkness to faith.
The tracks on Save Me from Myself provide intimate glimpses into Welch’s struggles and redemption. Wikipedia noted that songs like “Flush” address flushing “all the crap in life” from constant drunkenness and drug use. The song was written spontaneously after locking himself in his studio. “Re-Bel” reflects on his neglect of his daughter due to drinking. The track was inspired by a story of a mistreated child turning to God for healing.
The album’s title track, “Save Me from Myself,” details his drug use, suicidal thoughts, depression, and lying. It culminates in screams of gratitude to God for salvation. This raw honesty in his music mirrors the vulnerability he continues to display in his recent statements about finding peace through faith. He has overcome the desire for death that once consumed him during his darkest hours.
